11.6.06
Saw II – nudity, sex, upskirt, me naked, tits, sex, porn
Saw II – 2005
Blllauuuuragghhhhh! That was me vomiting and bleeding from my ears at how shite this film was. Saw was a good film with a brilliant twist and they should have just let it be, shoving any potential sequel scripts up nearby arseholes. I admit I had a tiny amount of hope for this film, but, alas, it was not to be. It can join the junk pile of shitty sequels. None of the characters were likeable or cool (the original had excellent characters) and their deaths affect the viewer in no way, well cept' the boring and naff violence. There is a twist but it's like... er ok then (rather than FUCK me he was there all along...ahahhahaha...fantastic! etc) and allows them to keep dragging this idea until it withers to nothing. Unbelievably they are making Saw III with Tobin Bell as Jigsaw on board... still dying. 3/10
9.6.06
Resident Evil: Apocalypse
Resident Evil: Apolcalypse
What a bunch of crap. Milla should have shoved this script up her highly attractive arse. This has nothing on the first film. It's boring and wholly unoriginal in its entirety. More zombies all over the city... cept' easier to fight now. And some stupid big mutant thing, that used to be Matt from the first film, stomps around firing his rocket launcher. This is the perfect example of a shite video game film. Paul Anderson has much less talent than I thought. Money-grabbing bollocks. 2/10
4.6.06
Resident Evil
Resident Evil – 2002
I admit I ignored this whole Capcom franchise until now (tend to avoid video game films), but I'm glad I did not die without seeing this film. It's a whole bag of no-brainer fun and with that always good movie material: zombies... lots of zombies. This film never holds back and is certainly not for the light-hearted. Milla Jovovich plays the lead Alice and she is possibly the best film action heroine since Ellen Ripley. And she is dressed to kill. I first saw the Russian speaking exceedingly attractive Milla in The Fifth Element and thought... nice. Another exciting lady is Michelle Rodriguez (currently in the awesome Lost tv series and does a marine voice in Halo 2) who provides tough gal support. Lots of folks die gory deaths (loved the laser bit) and it's all very fun.
The guy that wrote and directed this film is Brit Paul W.S. Anderson responsible for Event Horizen and Alien Vs Predator – two unexpectedly good films. This guy has talent. 7/10
Shadowlands
Shadowlands – 1993
I watched this a month ago, but have just got around to reviewing it here. It's a wonderful film probably most suitable for middle aged ladies, but all can appreciate I hope. The always watchable Anthony Hopkins plays CS Lewis – the converted christian author of the Narnia books and good friend of Tolkien. In some ways it is similar to the equally good Depp film: Finding Neverland. It's the story of his romance with an American lady (Debra Winger) who greatly admires his work. It's extremely touching and very English with plenty of tea drinking and such. 8/10
3.6.06
Phone Booth
Phone Booth – 2002
I don't like Colin Farrell. Don't much like Joel 'Batman Fucker' Schumacher (well ok I loved Falling Down). So I was not too excited about this, but the idea interested me. It's ok. I admit it is tense stuff mostly. The ending is a massive come down. It builds up so much to well... not a lot... maybe a fucking sequel I guess. More people should have been shot, especially those annoying chattering hookers. Ahahahahahha. The supporting cast is not great and I already wrote I don't like Colin Farrell. The music makes me wanna scream blood. Otherwise, it's alright. 5/10
