25.2.06
Pride and Prejudice
Pride and Prejudice - 2005
I'm 25 and have managed to avoid Jane Austin until now... I suppose having a girlfriend allows me to appreciate the finer things and this film is that. Set in Georgian England and revolving around five sisters of the Bennet family: Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty and Lydia, it's about Love, class, propriety and society. Donald Sutherland plays the father, Mr Bennet, with warmth and pride and he is fast becoming one of my fave old dude actors. The normal wealthy Mr Bingley and the ragingly wealthy and stern/proud/shy Mr Darcy arrive locally gathering up the attention of the lovely Bennet daughters and their mother who is eager to marry off her horde of delicate young English ladies. The quiet one, Mary, is played by Talulah Riley and I think she is delightful. Sorry I just need to note that. Hope I see more of Talulah on screen.
Now English girls, I believe, can be the loveliest and prettiest known to Man worldwide. Delicate features, innocence, pale rosy skin, lovely necks and the most appealing accents and language skills. Of course we also have many women in this country that are very much concerned with becoming a man. Damn, there are some butch monster women in this country. Things so ugly they may cause a series of spasms resulting in the consumption of one's own penis. There are a lot of ugly trees to fall off I think in Britain.
Anyway, Like the guy on the DVD extras says dating was so much easier then; you simply had to follow rules of etiquette. No awkward should i shake her hand, kiss her cheek, hug her, squeeze a boob, caress her cheek, eat her foot... just ways a man should act. Damn, touch meant so much more back then. It's such a big thing when Mr Darcy gently holds Elizabeth's hand a bit to help her on the carriage. Now you can witness two strangers sucking each other inside out on the dance floor of your local stinky sweaty tits-hanging-out night club. Anyway, the film is worth watching and I think men can take something away from this film. 7.5/10
24.2.06
Meet the Fockers
Meet the Fockers - 2004
This was pretty weak really. It is simply the same old predictable jokes and cringeworthy moments. Ben Stiller (Greg) is ok, but I know he can be better. You just get the feeling that they could have tried so much more with this one; but it's a sequel and sequels are quick money. The real fun comes when Dustin Hoffman, playing Greg's dad Bernie, steps in. He is fantastic and a joy to watch and saves the film from complete apocalyptic disaster. The breast milk jokes completely fail, if you have seen Little Britain. 4/10
19.2.06
Cold Mountain
Cold Mountain – 2003
I gotta stop watching depressing films. This one is about another area of beautiful human history – man killing man, cruelty and such. Believe me, this film is full of death. It is based during the American Civil War: for those who know little of American history, and please note how very shite it is to watch a historical film without even a tiny bit of knowledge, it was between the Unionists (The Union/USA lead by Lincoln) and the Confederates (the Southern states who enjoyed Slave Power and its large cotton production; and feared the modernisation taking place in the Northern states) . The causes of the War are still debated, so I won't go into too much detail (see Wikipedia if you must).
Anyway, Jude Law plays Inman a quiet, wounded confederate deserter, who grows tired of War. The pinnacle of this fatigue is brilliantly shown on Inman's face in the latter part of the film when Sara (a small part taken by Natalie Portman) shoots dead a good soldier. I like the versatile Jude; he has some negative attention from the media but I don't care about that shit and don't let it get in the way of a mighty fine performance. Also many people get pissed off with Cruise and his sometimes odd behaviour but damn, I rarely dislike him on screen.
For an American story, this film lacks Americans: We have Jude, Nicole, Gleeson (excellent as usual) and Ray Winstone all main characters and very much non-American. Nicole is pretty okay, nothing amazing as to be expected. Zellweger is better. It was a good film that I was able to sit back and become immersed in, with great help from the moving music. 7.5/10
"Come back to me. Come back to Cold Mountain."
18.2.06
The Cat Returns 猫の恩返し
The Cat Returns (Neko no ongaeshi) - 2002
This one from Studio Ghibli, like Kiki's Delivery Service, is more orientated towards children. Haru, a young girl rescues a cat from imminent squashy road death, who is actually the son of a Cat King in the Kingdom of Cats. The Cat King brings Haru to his kingdom, where she sort of transfers into a cat herself and is to marry Prince Lune. If you love cats (neko) then you will adore this film's ideas. It can be quite amusing with some great characters, but this one was clearly made on a lower budget and lacks the depth we have come to love from Ghibli. A nice short lightweight film for a tired mind. 5.5/10
This one from Studio Ghibli, like Kiki's Delivery Service, is more orientated towards children. Haru, a young girl rescues a cat from imminent squashy road death, who is actually the son of a Cat King in the Kingdom of Cats. The Cat King brings Haru to his kingdom, where she sort of transfers into a cat herself and is to marry Prince Lune. If you love cats (neko) then you will adore this film's ideas. It can be quite amusing with some great characters, but this one was clearly made on a lower budget and lacks the depth we have come to love from Ghibli. A nice short lightweight film for a tired mind. 5.5/10
17.2.06
When the Last Sword is Drawn (壬生義士伝)
When the Last Sword is Drawn (Mibu Gishi Den) – 2003
Yoshimura is a lower level Samurai who very much loves his family, but cannot take their poverty anymore. He is so determined to bring them a better life he leaves his small unimportant clan (a great dishonour to the clan and his family). He joins the Shinsengumi (a famous police group of Samurai in the last days of Tokugawa shogunate that really existed) who eventually must turn on the Emperor as the Meiji era approaches, to protect the Shogun. It is the story of the beginning of the rapid modernisation of Japan.
Yoshimura stands out within the Shinsengumi due to his potent skill with blades and his rather odd appreciation of money (which he is constantly sending home to his beloved family) due to his low standing background. He has a profound effect on the harsh Hajime Saito, the other main character in this film, played by Koichi Sato (Gonin). The film's greater power lies in its focus on these two men and their relationship and ultimately the very power within love and honor. Many of the characters are based on real people of the same names. The viewer will soon warn to Yoshimura! 8.5/10
Yoshimura stands out within the Shinsengumi due to his potent skill with blades and his rather odd appreciation of money (which he is constantly sending home to his beloved family) due to his low standing background. He has a profound effect on the harsh Hajime Saito, the other main character in this film, played by Koichi Sato (Gonin). The film's greater power lies in its focus on these two men and their relationship and ultimately the very power within love and honor. Many of the characters are based on real people of the same names. The viewer will soon warn to Yoshimura! 8.5/10
10.2.06
Shaolin Soccer 少林足球 and Kung Fu Hustle 功夫
Shaolin Soccer – 2001
Stephen Chow could be my favorite comedian ever. This film and Kung Fu Hustle made me laugh so much. He seems to relish in suddenly revealing a poor and completely ordinary person to be some kind of stupidly skillful kung-fu master. So many great moments like the ET bit. These films are excellent if you are feeling a bit down. If you die without seeing one of these films then your life was a hollow piece of nothingness. 7.5/10
"I want to say hello to my parents and my Kung Fu master, but they're all dead."
My review of Kung Fu Hustle from my old site:
Kung Fu Hustle (Gong Fu) – 2004
Directing and acting, Stephen Chow rules. I just love that knife throwing moment and the landlord falling out the window. Expect the unexpected with this one. Very amusing almost constantly, set in 1940s shanghai. Starting with an excellent dance routine. Fully recommended. 7.5/10
Crash
Crash - 2004
Sometimes clever, but not brilliant. I liked the last crash just before the credits role involving Shaniqua who reveals the problems of intolerance, bigotry, crime and stereotypes are so deep rooted and widespread and that nothing really changes -- the characters themselves all change but the wider problem remains. The film does not seek solutions or try to lay down a great bed of hope with some trite happy endings (but there is some hope behind all the darkness). It also makes LA look like a complete shitehole to live in; maybe it is -- I'm not too bothered about finding out. An impressive cast and good stories. Certainly worth watching. 7/10
"You embarrass me. You embarrass yourself."
